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โšก June 22, 1999

First Page ๐Ÿ”ฅ

Artwork by Anne Brundige.

Artwork by Anne Brundige.

9:47 a.m. My mouse hand is so sore from working all night, but Iโ€™m done. It is a Turbo mouse, after all. Plus I have one of those long jelly things you can rest your carpels on, or pound in mouse-y frustration, or even drape over your shoulders and around your neck for some cold aspic comfort. Mine is called โ€œGel-eezeโ€ and itโ€™s a full 18-inches long, with velcro unfurled.

Itโ€™s all over now, except for the shouting. The silent shouting in this journal every day โ€ฆ but otherwise, Iโ€™m ready to go. I did it all yesterday, I tell me โ€“ I did it all. And soon I wonโ€™t be telling just me, but rather: the whole wide world.

Itโ€™s taken me five years to get up the courage to step forward and turn on the projector and let the light shine through some of the pages that are in this machine. Now I have this sensation of standing alone in the dark, trying to sing my songs, tell my stories, do a little patter-swish โ€ฆ and let the words and pictures fly out and into the dark dark void. And what happens? Nothing. Blackness. Total annihilating silence.

So you try another flash, another furious slurry of words โ€ฆ maybe show a little leg. Nothing.

And another, until youโ€™re quite mad now, talking to yourself in the dark you are โ€ฆ but hey, thereโ€™s a mirror here and a window there and thereโ€™s plenty to do when youโ€™re not projecting, so itโ€™s not so bad really, just me and my obedient shadows and the big hard disks humming โ€ฆ when suddenly!

There will come that little emailic beep from Eudora. One teeny light will sputter. To mock, to totally mock, the darkness.

Some violets I drew many years ago.

But not yet. When that happens, itโ€™ll be nice. But first, I have to Fetch it all up there and go find the rubbing alcohol for my gunky contacts and get them rolling sideways again so I can continue to tweak.

The fabulous skull-and-candle artwork is by Anne Brundige, who made the drawings available through the equally fabulous HyperStudio Journal. If youโ€™re still hanging tough waiting for HyperCard 3, Godot to the HyperStudio home page and check it out. No need to suffer.

Tomorrow, remind me to tell you the story about the dead mouse I found when I was vacuuming. ๐Ÿ”